Friday, 10 July 2009
-
True Story
I read in another post about someone needing their wisdom teeth out. I know the feeling.
I was in my first year of college when I got the news. All four of my wisdom teeth were impacted. Naturally I made the neccessary mental calculations to increase my beer intake. I would need so many more a day, which meant so much more money to buy the beer, minus the cost of gas to return the empties, plus the empties refund, minus the cost of gas to go to the beer store to buy more.
It gave me more of a headache than the impacted teeth already did, so I decided to have them out.
Now being the manly he-man kind of guy that I am, I told my dentist to forget the hospital, forget an overnight stay or any such crap. Grab a saw and a pair of pliers and let's get it done.
He called and made an appointment for me with an oral surgeon friend of his, then promptly sent over my fresh xrays by courier. the one thing everyone told me was.....Make sure you have someone there to drive you home.
I laughed at this because let's face it, I wasn't having my legs amputated, just a few stubborn teeth taken out. But I promised I would , I also made a mental note that my dentist, his receptionist, and the oral surgeon couldn't have been too bright to underestimate me in this way.
Anyway, I called all my friends to set up a ride home but they were all booked. I understood completely. I didn't have a steady chick at the time ( are you kidding? it was college!) So there was no one else to call but my parents.
My Mum said she would drive me there and drive me home, no problem.And so on the appointed day, at the appointed time, she chauffered me to the oral surgeons. He had an office one floor up and no elevator, no problem, we scaled the stairs. Mum went into the waiting room, I went into the chair.
I remember telling him a bit about the Civil War as they put the mask on me, but that was it.I was out cold in the deepest of sleeps. When I came to, I was on my side on some kind of leather bed thing, you know, like the school nurse used to have? My Mum was peering down at me anxiously looking into my one visible eye. I explored my mouth with my tongue and found it packed with gauze and god knows what else. I motioned to my Mum, using my hand...I held it out from my face "Am I all swollen?" She nodded and said "are you ready to go?" I gave her the thumbs up and she turned to get her purse.
I slowly stood up and being the gentleman that I am (chicks dig that) I held the door for her and waited for her to leave first. She got her purse and turned to see me full frontal for the first time.
She fainted and dropped like a stone.
I grabbed her under the armpits and put her on the leather bed thing and tapped her face. She came around as I sat beside her with my arm around her. "I just need some fresh air " she said "it's stuffy in here, I'll be fine in the fresh air". We left, her first, me closely behind. We got down the stairs and outside whereupon she said "I'm fine now". She was turning to look at me when she said it, when she saw my face full frontal again....She dropped like a stone on the sidewalk.
Her car was right out front, another 4 steps and she would have made it. I opened the back door of her Plymouth and grabbed her under the armpits and dumped my Mum in the backseat as gently as I could. Then I fished around in her purse til I found the keys.
I drove her home. My face looked like I had stuffed Onion Soup bowls in my cheeks ( you know, the deep ones) and I was bleeding into my gauze quite a bit, but I got us home no problem. I didn't let my Mum look at me again for days. when I ran out of gauze I bit down on tea bags, good advice for anyone going to have it done.
True story, I swear.
-
recommend
- recs 2
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Post a Comment
- Back to Bricker59's Xanga Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in Bricker59's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (29)
Oh my goodness, I am cracking up over here!!
I remember waking up from my wisdom teeth surgery to the nurse asking perkily, "When do you want to come back in for your follow-up?" I wanted to say, "I just woke up from anesthesia and my mouth is stuffed full of gauze, and you want me to talk to you about return appointment?!" Instead I said, "Mmmph."
Oh, man. LOL Great choice of chauffeurs!
I don't know how the heck you drove. I couldn't even walk correctly after I had mine done!
your poor mom.
My son passed out when the oral surgeon was showing me the x-rays and telling me that they cut the gums of the ones that hadn't come thru.
Haha! I take it your mom is really squeamish?
I was too out of it to walk to my car without help when I got my teeth out, so I never would have been able to drive home, even though I lived within a mile of my oral surgeon's office. It's a good thing you were okay for it (although they may have used a different anesthesia then?).
Hahahah! Too funny!
My dad took me to get my wisdom teeth out. Apparently my teeth looked NASTY afterwards. I came home and checked it out in the mirror, and sure enough my teeth were soaked in blood along with the gauze. I can see how your mom might`ve been shocked.
The anaesthesia didn`t do much for me either. We`re just all that ;)
I enjoyed reading this!
I had mine removed by a Navy dentist. I knew I was in trouble when they blindfolded me. I drove myself home afterward, too. Glad you were there in your mom's hour of need! lol
I was 16 when I had my wisdom teeth removed and came out of the laughing gas crying....a few moments later I was laughing....then crying again. You can tell by this I'm a sentimental old slob. My 13 year old brother had a few baby teeth removed that same day and he came to ready to fight the world!
Hah, funny story.
I removed mine with a bit of twine and a horse. Long story.
lol. wow.
i had all 4 of mine cut out about 3 years ago. hurt like hell. even with novacaine shots. then i had an allergic reaction to the pain meds they gave me. i've had lots of surgeries (two where they cut my entire abdomin open from breast bone to belly button) and have been injured lots, but getting those cut out was quite painful. maybe because i've never had any kind of dental work done before or after that. *crosses fingers* i hope it stays that way! ;)
Safe to guess your mom was never a surgeon then? Very funny story Brickerguy! I still have my wisdom teeth. Maybe that's why i'm such a wise ... ass.
Jeeez, Thoms!
(to show where my mind was at, when you wrote "full frontal" I thought "he was naked??")
LOL that was funny. Your poor mom! But you're lucky you had the general anesthetic... I also had impacted wisdom teeth but the dentist only gave me a local and believe me, I wish he had knocked me out!!! So traumatizing... Anyway I'm glad you survived ok. :)
LOL. my mom would probably do the same thing. but, lucky for all of us, i was born without wisdom teeth. true story.
Ugh, such horrible memories. I was OUT on the ride home. My boyfriend made fun of me for WEEKS because he said I had cute little chipmunk cheeks, then he'd pinch then, then I'd cry out in pain and slap him. Ahhhhhh, good times.
Having my wisdom teeth out was horrible! I looked like a chipmunk, and I woke up talking about a picnic! My Mom laughed about the "picnic" that made me sick as a dog!!!
Glad you were well enough to take care of your Mum!
Oh, and the tea bags is a great trick that the oral surgeons use, it has titanic acid that is a vasoconstrictor in the tea juice. Its the first thing they do to stop bleeding!
Awww, your poor mom.
you're a warrior, that's what YOU are, Brick.
loved the detailed description. i'm sure if you weren't in your physical state of being at the time, you might've even laughed at your mother.
i remember sleeping gas when i had my wisdom teeth removed and to this day... i highly advise it.
Aww, no one likes to see their kids hurt, or hideously swollen (I mean that with all due respect, sir)
Good on ya, mum!I completely understand!
I remember when my oldest, Ben, a toddler, was running down the hallway, tripped and split his forehead open on the corner of the kitchen entry! I had a brand new baby (about six weeks old) and Ben who was 21 months and I was just recovering from my an emergency C-section after having torn my uterus. ( I explain all of that so that you understand how difficult it was getting two little guys, one of them split wide open and bleeding profusely from his forehead, into a station wagon to get to the doctor!!)
When we arrived, of course, we were ushered right in. They strapped little Ben to a papoose board and began to sew him up. I tried to hold him down and comfort him as much as possible, but when they put that needle into my baby's forehead, I went pale! I nearly passed out and the doctor said, " Are you okay, Mom? Mom? Hey, I think Mom needs more assistance right now than Ben does!" Another doctor took me by the arm and led me into another room to offer me a Coke, because I was in such shock!
I felt bad that I wasn't able to be there for Ben, but I was about to go down! I couldn't stand to see him crying and to see the look of betrayal in his little eyes as they worked on him. It sickened me.
So, you see, Brick, even as old as you were, I am sure in your mother's eyes, you were no bigger than my Ben and to see her baby's face looking like that, well, it was more than she could take! You'll always be her baby.
;)
Been there done that! Had all 4 out in one go - just valium, novacaine and nitrous oxide... fun. I looked like a zombie - right after a meal. My mom just laughed hysterically. I'd hoped for a little sympathy... lol
Oh dear. I was 15 when I had mine removed...there's no way I could have done any driving. Luckily, my mom is a nurse and used to all of that.
When you first said "full frontal", I was wondering why you would have your pants off at the dentists office. I caught up though.
@MySecretLoveAffair - I forgot to mention....my Mum had been a nurse too.
Wisdom teeth = worst pain I have ever felt
We were reading each other's pages at the same time....weird.
The aftermath, not so fun. But that laughing gas nitric oxide stuff, now THAT I would do again! They thought I had 5 wisdom teeth. Did you know you could have EIGHT?