Wednesday, 13 May 2009

  • A Thing of Beauty

    About three months after I opened my own Antiques store I got a call from my favorite picker saying he would be home tonight with a really good load.I told him I would see him first thing in the morning.He didn't lie , and his calling me was a courtesy I certainly appreciated.

    I awoke at 4am , got dressed and headed off in my van.It took close to two hours to get to his place.Once there I opened up his large storage shed and began checking out the treasures within. He had chalked all the prices on the furniture the night before and a list of prices for all the non furniture things was on a table just inside the door. I was glad I got there early for it was indeed a very good load and I knew that had I waited I would have found it picked over by at least half a dozen dealers who I was sure were making their way to his place right then.

    I selected 8 pieces of furniture of various size and description and then I saw him. I stood transfixed as I stared rudely at him. At that moment my picker came out of his house with coffee for us both. I checked the list and added him to my selection of purchases. We told a few tales as we loaded the van. He sat up front with me on the return journey.

    "He" was a stuffed Warthog Head. He had large "warts " on the side of his face, he had curling tusks coming out of his mouth. He had glass eyes and the most amazing curly eyelashes, and he had a fine ridge of hair along his jawline up to the front of his trumpet-like leathery ears.

    He was so ugly he was beautiful. He was also a rare find. Deer heads are plentiful, I wouldn't give them a second glance, but Warthog heads are very rare.

    When Sea Hag saw him she said "There is NO WAY you are bringing him into this house!" My brother said, "what the hell were you thinking???" My mother looked at me with real pity in her eyes and simply said "OOHHHH Bricker!" I thought she might cry.

    I questioned my own judgement because of everyone's cold reception of Walter (I named him that because he reminded me of the rummy who lived under the bridge) so as a result I hung Walter on the wall in the back part of my shop where I did repairs and refinishing.Everyone said I would never sell him, some said he would scare away customers. He was very good company for me in the back. I priced him at double what I paid for him and frankly didn't care if he ever sold.

    I called a lady who was a VERY good customer of mine about a piece she had been waiting for.This lady had a thing for multi drawered furniture. The more drawers it had, the more she had to have it. I had an excellent little thing with 12 drawers that once held gloves and jewellry that she wanted to see when I got all the paint off it. As I showed it to her, I had forgotten all about Walter there on the wall. She saw him.

    And BLEW UP.

    She BLASTED me. She was a member of the S.P.C.A. , she was a member of Greenpeace, she was a member of the Humane Society, she was a member of every animal loving group there was.BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!

    I finally yelled at her "I DIDN"T SHOOT HIM!!!" She quieted down at that. I showed her the taxidermy sticker on the back of Walter dated 1903, he was done in Montreal. I told her I just fell in love with him, that he was so ugly he was beautiful and he kept me company which is why he was back in the shop and not on the showroom floor.

    I got her settled down, hung Walter back up on the wall, and agreed to put little bun feet on the 12 drawer thing for her.She agreed to purchase the thing and would return tomorrow to pick it up and pay for it.

    She arrived the next day as I was screwing on the last bun foot. She came back in the shop and we made small talk as I added the foot and gave a last buff to the wax. I looked up at one point and she was stroking Walters "sideburns". " You know" she said quietly " I haven't been able to stop thinking about him." "Oh yeah?" I said as I buffed. She continued stroking and said "His death shouldn't be in vain, he should be loved." "He is " I said, "I love him".

    She pulled out her chequebook and said "I have to have him."

    The last person on EARTH I thought would want him, had to have him. He now hangs on a relaimed brick wall in her home and looks absolutely fabulous. He is no longer ugly, everyone remarks on how great he looks there.

    I only got to enjoy Walter's company for 2 days.

     I never doubted myself again.

     

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